” Relationship Development” by Daniel Usera & contributing authors, LibreTexts i
” Relationship Development” by Daniel Usera & contributing authors, LibreTexts is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA .
In intimate relationships, such as friendships and romantic relationships, communication is key, as it is through communication that we begin, develop, maintain, and dissolve relationships. In this section, we will describe four stages of intimate relationships and present communication theories that help us better understand our communicative interactions during these stages.
Uncertainty Reduction Theory
Uncertainty Reduction Theory, also known as Initial Interaction Theory, can help us better understand the communicative behaviors involved in first interactions (note this theory does NOT describe relational development over time). The theory posits that, when interacting, people need information about the other party in order to reduce their uncertainty. Uncertainty is a sense of “not knowing” that people find to be unpleasant and seek to reduce through interpersonal communication. The theory identifies two types of uncertainty: cognitive and behavioral. Cognitive uncertainty pertains to the level of uncertainty associated with our thoughts (beliefs and attitudes) of each other in the situation.[4] Behavioral uncertainty is related to people’s actions and whether or not they fit our expectations for what we consider to be “normal” or not. Behavior that is outside of acceptable norms may increase uncertainty and reduce the chances for future interaction.
There are three types of strategies people may use to seek information about someone: passive (observing from afar), active (indirectly seeking information about the other), and interactive (seeking a direct exchange with the other). In gaining this information people are better able to predict the other’s behavior and resulting actions, all of which are crucial in the development of any relationship. The initial interaction of strangers can also be broken down into individual stages:
the entry stage (when people engage in behavioral norms)
the personal stage (when people tend to explore the other’s beliefs, attitudes, morals, etc.),
the exit stage (when a decision is made whether a person desire’s future interactions). Please note the exit stages does NOT mean “exiting” a relationship. Many times, further interactions are desired during the exit phase.
A great example of these phases and Uncertainty Reduction is from the show “Love is Blind.” In the clip below, Cameron meets Lauren for the first time. You can see them start talking about basic information, get a little more personal, and then end with a positive “exit” phase, deciding they want to see each other again:
Attraction Theory
Attraction Theory posits that three factors influence our attraction to others: their similarity to us, their proximity, and their interpersonal attractiveness (Alberts, Nakayama, & Martin, 2016).
Similarity:
Have you ever heard the phrase ‘birds of a feather flock together’? Similarity is often an impo