Miles Gloriosus, or The Braggart Captain
Act Four, Scene Four
Enter ACROTELEUTIUM, MILPHIDIPPA, and PLEUSICLES from the house of PERIPLECOMENUS.
ACROTELEUTIUM
Follow me; at the same time look around, that there may be no overlooker.
MILPHIDIPPA
Faith, I see no one, only him whom we want to meet.
PALAESTRIO
Just as I want you.
MILPHIDIPPA
How do you do, our master-plotter?
PALAESTRIO
I, the master-plotter? Nonsense.
MILPHIDIPPA
How so?
PALAESTRIO
Because, in comparison with yourself, I am not worthy to fix a beam in a wall.
ACROTELEUTIUM
Aye, indeed so.
PALAESTRIO
She’s a very fluent and a very clever hand at mischief. How charmingly she did polish off the Captain.
MILPHIDIPPA
But still, not enough.
PALAESTRIO
Be of good courage all the business is now prospering under our hands. Only do you, as you have begun, still, give a helping hand; for the Captain himself has gone in-doors, to entreat his mistress to leave his house, with her mother and sister, for Athens.
PLEUSICLES
Very good–well done.
PALAESTRIO
Besides, all the gold trinkets and apparel which he himself has provided for the damsel, he gives her to keep as a present for herself–so have I recommended him.
PLEUSICLES
Really, it’s easily done, if both she wishes it, and he desires it as well.
PALAESTRIO
Don’t you know that when, from a deep well, you have ascended up to the top, there is the greatest danger lest you should thence fall back again from the top? This affair is now being carried on at the top of the well. If the Captain should have a suspicion of it, nothing whatever of his will be able to be carried off. Now, most especially, we have need of clever contrivances.
PLEUSICLES
I see that there is material enough at home for that purpose–three women, yourself the fourth, I am the fifth, the old gentleman the sixth.
PALAESTRIO
What an edifice of stratagems has been erected by us! I know for certain. that any town seems as though it could be taken by these plans: only do you lend your assistance.
ACROTELEUTIUM
For that purpose are we come to you, to see if you wish for anything.
PALAESTRIO
You do what’s à propos. Now to you do I assign this department[1]?
ACROTELEUTIUM
General, you shall assign me whatever you please, so far as I am capable.
PALAESTRIO
I wish this Captain to be played off cleverly and adroitly.
ACROTELEUTIUM
I’ faith, you’re assigning me what’s a pleasure to me.
PALAESTRIO
But do you understand how?
ACROTELEUTIUM
You mean that I must pretend that I am distracted with love for him.
PALAESTRIO
Right–you have it.
ACROTELEUTIUM
And as though by reason of that love I had foregone[2] my present marriage, longing for a match with him.
PALAESTRIO
Everything exactly in its due order; except only this one point; you must say that this house pointing to the house of PERIPLECOMENUS was your marriage-portion; that the old man had departed hence from you after you had carried out the divorce, lest he should be afraid just now to come here into the house of another man.
ACROTELEUTI