Miles Gloriosus, or The Braggart Captain
Act Five, Scene One
Enter PERIPLECOMENUS from his house, with CARIO and other SERVANTS, dragging PYRGOPOLINICES.[1]
PERIPLECOMENUS
Bring that fellow along. If he doesn’t follow, drag him, lifted on high[2], out of doors. Make him to be between heaven and earth; cut him in pieces. They beat him.
PYRGOPOLINICES
By my troth, I do entreat you, Periplecomenus.
PERIPLECOMENUS
By my troth, you do entreat in vain.
CARIO
Why, it’s already longing to rip up the stomach of this letcher. I’ll make his entrails hang just as a bauble hangs from a baby’s neck.
PYRGOPOLINICES
I’m a dead man.
PERIPLECOMENUS
Not yet; you say so too soon.
CARIO
Shall I have at this fellow now?
PERIPLECOMENUS
Aye,–but first let him be thrashed with cudgels.
CARIO
True, right lustily.
PERIPLECOMENUS
Why have you dared, you disgraceful fellow, to seduce another man’s wife?
PYRGOPOLINICES
So may the Gods bless me, she came to me of her own accord.
PERIPLECOMENUS
It’s a lie. Lay on. They are about to strike.
PYRGOPOLINICES
Stay, while I tell—-
PERIPLECOMENUS
Why are you hesitating?
PYRGOPOLINICES
Will you not let me speak?
PERIPLECOMENUS
Speak, then.
PYRGOPOLINICES
I was entreated to come here.
PERIPLECOMENUS
How did you dare? There’s for you, take that. Strikes him.
PYRGOPOLINICES
O! O! I’ve had enough. Prithee, now.
CARIO
Am I to begin cutting him up at once?
PERIPLECOMENUS
As soon as you like. Stretch the fellow out, and spread out his pinions[3] in opposite ways.
PYRGOPOLINICES
By heavens, prithee, do hear my words before he cuts me.
PERIPLECOMENUS
Speak before you’re made of no sex.
PYRGOPOLINICES
I supposed that she was a widow; and so her maid, who was her go-between, informed me.
PYRGOPOLINICES
I swear by Dione[5] and Mars that I will hurt no one because I have been beaten here this day; and I think that it was rightfully done; and if I don’t go hence further injured, I am rightly punished for the offence.
PERIPLECOMENUS
But what if you don’t do so?
PYRGOPOLINICES
Then, may I always have my word not to be trusted[6].
CARIO
Let him be beaten once more; after that I think he may be dismissed.
PYRGOPOLINICES
May the Gods ever bless you, since you so kindly come as my advocate.
CARIO
Give us a golden mina[7], then.
PYRGOPOLINICES
For what reason?
PYRGOPOLINICES
It shall be given you.
CARIO
You’re very wise. As for your tunic, and your scarf[8], and sword, don’t at all hope for them; you shan’t have them.
A SERVANT.
PYRGOPOLINICES
I’m tamed by your cudgels. I do entreat you.
PERIPLECOMENUS
Loose him.
PYRGOPOLINICES
I return you thanks.
PYRGOPOLINICES
Well: I make no objection.
PERIPLECOMENUS
Let’s go in, Cario. PERIPLECOMENUS, CARIO, and SERVANTS go into his house. Enter SCLEDRUS and other SERVANTS of the CAPTAIN.
PYRGOPOLINICES
Here are some of my servants, I see. Tell me, is Philocomasium off yet.
SCELEDRUS
Aye, some time since.
PYRGOPOLINICES
Ah me!
SCELEDRUS
You would say that[9] still more if you were to know what I know, for that fe