November 3
St. Wendelin, Luxemburg
Today’s gospel was about Zacchaeus who simply wants to see Jesus but it is Jesus who sees Zacchaeus. When the kids were in elementary school this story was part of their Vacation Bible School where I helped with snacks and games, the best assignment for me. Don’t you just marvel when someone is matched perfectly with their talents? At St. Wendelin, Father Ron delivered the Gospel like I have never experienced. Instead of reading the Gospel, he recited it from memory without missing a word then followed it with a deep and engaging homily, checking his notes only once at the beginning. He truly has the calling to preach and it was awesome to be in this church to witness it. His message had connections to saving the lost with the charge of both keeping ourselves connected and when ready, to provide help to those near us by being Christian role models and listening when they share their burdens.
Though just a wee tiny burg, Luxemburg was big in community. I met a coworker, Shelly, and her mom, Jeanne before Mass outside, then walked through the cemetery in front of the church to visit the grave of Peanut, Shelly’s infant daughter. After we celebrated Mass together, we celebrated with breakfast across the street at the Hayloft, where, like Cheers, everyone knew each other. Every patron was greeted at the door, many like us directly from church. Several diners rotated between tables, catching up. When I mentioned my relatives who had lived in Luxemburg, Uncle Pete and Aunt Lorraine, I earned immediate acceptance into the embrace of the close-knit community. It reminded me of the quick acceptance I felt in the Look Good Feel Better workshops.
Look Good Feel Better
Even though I was more involved in church than before, I felt like I had a lot more to do. Keenly aware that I needed to focus on prepping my soul, I also knew I could not live my life with too much focus on the end. Also, I was completely unmoored in the drastic shift from the hectic teaching life and busy scheduled life to so much time at home alone with hours to contemplate. Initially, I was not ready for the switch but grew to appreciate my situation. Some cancer survivors go so far as to appreciate cancer as a blessing for the change in perspective it brought them. Not me. I would not consider it a blessing. I wanted people to remember me as that peppy, quirky, spirited goofball, not Linda with Cancer. Barf. Honestly, I loved that most people I encountered had no idea I was chest-deep in a terminal disease. No matter how ugly it got, I never wanted my life to be based on the illness.
Appearance gets a mixed message. Looking well, especially having hair, seemed to bring an assumption of health regardless of the hideous cancer on the inside. The American Cancer Society’s Look Good Feel Better program offers makeup tips for cancer patients. I first attended at age 38. When I reached the CentraCare Plaza basement classroom, I was ushered to the back of the r