25 Active Listening: From Horror Show to Empathy
“The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The
best way to understand people is to listen to them.” —- Ralph Nichols
I first encountered this activity at an orientation camp for Canada World Youth with participants from across Canada and Indonesia. This is an engaging way to poke fun at all of us when we are lousy listeners. I have used this activity with many different groups of people around the world in both face-to-face and online settings. I continue to find it an effective way to kickstart exploration of verbal and non-verbal communication and the power of active listening.
Purpose
This activity introduces participants to the power of active listening. It explores the behaviors and impacts of both ineffective and effective communication skills
Learning Objectives
Participants will:
- Observe negative and positive listening skills.
- Describe verbal and non-verbal communication behaviors that both hinder and help build understanding and connection.
- Practice reflecting content and feelings they have heard.
- Experiment with questions that help the speaker open up and explore their situation and emotions.
- Observe a listener and give specific feedback on their listening skills.
Activity Directions
Set-Up: Arrange chairs in a semi-circle with two chairs facing each other at the front. Ask for a volunteer from the class to sit in one of the chairs and the facilitator sits in the other.
- Observe: Tell the class that they are going to observe two scenarios. Their task is to watch the facilitator and take notes about the body language, tone of voice and words that hinder or help with building understanding and connection.
- Demonstration Listening Dyad: Ask the volunteer to think of a situation that has bothered them and that they might want to talk to a friend or colleague about. Start the conversation by asking the volunteer how they are doing. Then demonstrate two different ways of responding:
Scenario One: Volunteer starts talking and the facilitator plays the role of a horrible listener. They yawn, look at their phone, interrupt, give advice, tap their feet and continually turn the conversation to talking about themselves. They are dismissive of the persons concerns and tell them to “get over it!” After 5 minutes say, “Stop.”
Scenario Two: When the volunteer starts talking about their concern, the facilitator uses effective empathic listening skills. They offer their full attention, paraphrase feelings and content, ask questions to deepen the conversation, summarize concerns and show care and understanding through words and body language.
3. Summarize: After 10 – 15 minutes of empathic, supportive conversation, you, as the good listener, summarize the main content and feelings you heard.
4. Group Discussion: Turn to the group and ask them what they observed:
Debriefing Questions:
- In the first scenario, what were some of the behaviors that you noticed?