27 Practicing Active Listening (27/20) -- Pathways to Connection:

27 Practicing Active Listening “We think we listen, but rarely do we listen with real understanding, true empathy. Yet listening, of this very special kind, is one of the most potent forces for change that I know.” – Carl Rogers A few years ago I was involved in mediation programs, organizing a college life-coaching program and conducting training with the residence advisors about suicide awareness. I realized that the key foundational skill for all of these training programs was the ability to listen without judgement to another person’s experience. While the previous activities in this communication module were focussed on attitudes and knowledge about communication, connection and empathy, this activity starts the process of practicing these skills and getting them “pounded into the neural pathways,” (as Dan Harris puts it.) Like most skills in life, it is awkward when first trying to develop a new way of responding. The end goal is not to sound like a robot repeating what is heard, but rather to integrate these skills into natural communication styles. This kind of listening is called “active” because it actually takes considerable energy to fully focus on another person’s experience and respond in a way that shows you are trying your best to understand them. It is also called “empathic” listening, because it requires the listener to identify the experiences and emotions of the speaker and respond to them in a way that demonstrates that they are tuning in to another person’s world. Becoming a skilled empathic listener is a life long process of practice, experimentation and discovery. Empathic listening involves actively listening to others with the intention of understanding their feelings and perspectives. It requires being fully present, suspending judgment, and demonstrating empathy towards the speaker. Key components of empathic listening include non-verbal cues, paraphrasing, and reflecting on the speaker’s emotions. Purpose The purpose of this activity is to provide an opportunity to practice and deepen listening skills. Learning Objectives Participants will: - Identify the components of empathic listening skills - Practice empathic listening skills - Practice observation skills and giving specific feedback to a listener Activity Directions - Micro-Skill Demonstration: Write the following listening micro skills on the board. Discuss each skill and provide examples. Facilitators present a 15 minute conversation where one person is the speaker and one is the listener. After the dialogue is complete, ask the class to share their observations. Ask for examples where they witnessed the micro-listening skills being used. Listening Micro-Skills - Body language, eye contact and facial expressions showed attentiveness - Tone of Voice showed interest and caring - Paraphrased feelings and content - Clarified meanings - Used open questions to deepen the conversation - Summarized emotions and themes 2. Discuss: Read or post the following quote and a