Compassionate Curiosity – Asking Good Questions
“Listen with curiosity. Speak with honesty. Act with integrity. The greatest problem with communication is we don’t listen to understand. We listen to reply. When we listen with curiosity, we don’t listen with the intent to reply. We listen for what’s behind the words.”
~Roy T. Bennett
From the Core Values
Curiosity: We are always intentional about how curiosity and inquiry support connection, growth, learning and engagement.
This curiosity isn’t fueled by personal gain but by a genuine interest in connection. We encourage curiosity while respecting the boundaries and protecting the privacy of the people we support.
We are continually curious, but not invasive, while challenging assumptions and narratives. We ask powerful questions. We offer generosity of assumption* to those who think differently than we do. We know that listening and asking questions are more important than providing answers.
Fostering a sense of curiosity within relationships supports connection. Curiosity is a powerful force in so much of our well-being, playing an important role in connection and communication.
Some benefits of cultivating curiosity:
- Curiosity calms the nervous system
- Curiosity supports us to seek out new possibilities, which makes way for HOPE
- Curiosity is the antidote to a fixed mindset. It supports us in thinking differently and more mindfully while shifting our perspectives
- Curiosity supports us to challenge our assumptions and biases
- Curiosity encourages us to get to know other people better
Learning to ask powerful questions is important to peer support work. When we ask good questions, we are helping someone to tap into their inner wisdom and reflect in a new way. When we ask questions rather than give advice, we are acknowledging that we don’t in fact have the answers.
When we talk about curiosity, we want to make sure that we are clear on the purpose of our questions. If we are asking something to satisfy a self-focused curiosity or our own desire for information, it’s best to refrain from asking those types of questions. To assess whether or not a question is good for you to ask, we need to consider:
- Who is benefiting from this question?
- Is this question supporting the person to engage in self-reflection?
- Does this question support connection?
Traits of Powerful Questions
Below each point, write your thoughts on why you think they are important.
1. Powerful Questions Are Always Open-Ended and Promote Reflection
An open-ended question is one that can’t be answered with a simple “yes” or “no.”
Think of how you might start an open-ended question. Most often, strong questions start with WHAT, as they are neutral and encourage people to self-reflect. That’s not a hard and fast rule, though. A good question can also start with HAVE/HAS, HOW, IF, or CAN.
It’s important not to ask a question to which you are looking for a specific answer, because then it’s not open-ended.
Questions that promot