Responding
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If you observe things that lead you to suspect that someone may be suicidal, it is important to check it out in more detail.
It can be difficult to acknowledge clues that seem to indicate that someone you know may be planning to kill themselves. But it can be tragic to disregard them.
- Trust yourself. Believe your suspicions and be aware.
- The aim is to connect someone who is having thoughts of suicide with other supports.
- Remember: If someone is in distress, you will not increase the risk of the person taking their own life by asking if they are thinking of suicide.
What Does a Person in Distress Need?
The main thing that people in distress need is to be heard and not judged. The most effective intervention is to listen to them with empathy and be non-judgmental.
Let the person know you hear them, believe them, and understand their distress as best you can. Tell them that you will help connect them with appropriate resources.
It does not have to be a lengthy conversation. Sometimes a conversation and a referral can be made within 10 minutes. What is most important is that the conversation is based on active listening and care. Sometimes just a few genuine words of concern and understanding can make a big difference and help get a person to connect with a counsellor or the best person to help them. You can’t take away their pain or solve their problems. But you can care.
There are no magic words. If you are concerned, your voice and manner will show it.
Being patient, calm, and accepting is more important than having the perfect words.
You may think that it’s all just talk and wonder how that’s going to help, but asking a person how they are doing and inviting them to talk about how they feel greatly reduces feelings of isolation and distress. They become aware that another person cares, and this can give them a feeling of being understood. A conversation can take the edge off their agitated state, and it may help them get through a bad night.
Communicate your concern for the person’s well-being by offering to listen. Good listening is more than just listening quietly. It means demonstrating that you can be supportive without being judgmental. It means accepting the person’s feelings as their truth, no matter how irrational they might appear to you. It means that you are comfortable enough with your own feelings to set them aside and listen to theirs.
If someone has previously tried to die by suicide, there is an increased risk that they will try again. This doesn’t change what you say. You need to emphasize how much they matter and that they are not alone, and find ways to connect them with appropriate help in as timely a manner as possible.
What Else Can Help?
- Approach with concerned care.
- Understand with empathy.
- Recognize and relate with kindness.
- Ask with respect.
- Lead wi