8.4 Family Relationships
The third primary type of interpersonal relationship we engage in is that of family. What is family? Is family created by legal ties or the bond of sharing common blood? Or can a family be considered people who share commitment to one another? In an effort to recognize the diversity of families, we define family as an arranged group, usually related by blood or some binding factor of commonality, where individual roles and relationships modify over time. Family relations are typically long term and generally have a period in which common space is shared.
Pearson suggests that families share similar characteristics as they tend to be in a shared living space for prolonged periods of time and reflect a mixture of interpersonal images that evolve through the exchange of meaning over time. Let’s take a few moments to unpack this definition.
Families Are Organized. All of us occupy and play fairly predictable roles (parent, child, older sibling) in our family relationships. Similarly, communication in these relationships can be fairly predictable. For example, your younger brother may act as the family peacemaker, while your older sister always initiates fights with her siblings.
Families Are a Relational Transactional Group. Not only is a family made up of the individual members; it is largely defined by the relationships between the members. Think back to our discussion of systems theory in the chapter about communication theory. A family that consists of two opposite-sex parents, an older sister, her husband and three kids, a younger brother, his new wife, and two kids from a first marriage is largely defined by the relationships among the family members. All of these people have a role in the family and interact with others in fairly consistent ways according to their roles.
Families Usually Occupy a Common Living Space Over an Extended Period of Time. One consistent theme when defining family is recognizing that family members typically live under the same roof for an extended period of time. We certainly include extended family within our definition, but for the most part, our notions of family include those people with whom we share, or have shared, common space over a period of time.
Families Possess a Mixture of Interpersonal Images That Evolve through the Exchange of Meaning Over Time. From our families, we learn important values concerning intimacy, spirituality, communication, and respect. Parents and other family members model behaviors that shape how we interact with others. As a result, we continually form images of what it means to be a family and try to maintain that image of family in our lives. You may define family as your immediate family, consisting of your parents and a sibling. However, your romantic partner may see family as consisting of parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents. Each of you perform different communication behaviors to maintain your image of family.
Many families ha