8.3 Confidence in the Face of Uncertainty
Most people lack confidence and are uncertain of what lies ahead, especially when new to a career. It is a natural response to feel insecure and overly cautious about unknown horizons. But be assured that if your teachers, mentors, and accountability partners did their job as prescribed, chances are that you will do just fine in the field. It is about taking the first step and knowing that ahead there are people who, just like you, were once insecure. The following concepts are strategies used by people who want to strive for more than just good—reach for excellence in the hope of reaching perfection along the way.
Embrace Good Enough over Perfect
In the human services field, you are evaluated on whether your work complies with the requirements of your job. Seldom is perfection an actual measure because human qualities and behaviors cannot be measured on a Likert scale. If your work is considered good, it means you have met the standards of that specific objective. Aiming for perfection is a noble goal, but it is an impossible level to achieve because in human services, you work with people, and people are highly unpredictable and seldom satisfied.
Listen Reflectively
Most of us are just bad listeners, especially today when cell phones seem to be attached to our hands. When engaged in a face-to-face conversation with another person, ideally, as listeners, we should be present, actively engaged in the conversation, and make the speaker feel validated.
Reflective listeners use a receptive body language, that is, the body is relaxed and vulnerable; we maintain direct eye contact with the speaker’s eyes and respond to verbal and nonverbal cues. The key here is to listen, rephrase what you are hearing, and ask for clarification if unsure. While your first reaction may be to defend yourself, reflective listening invites you to sit with this information and reflect on what you are hearing. You may already be aware that you were in a bad mood because of something else, or you may not understand what the coworker means. You can then ask a clarifying question, such as, “Can you tell me more about what you observed? Do you have suggestions for improvement?” This turns the interaction into a learning opportunity.
Use Positive Self-Talk
Many people are aware of an internal or inner voice that is continuously running a monologue throughout the day. This inner voice, or self-talk, is the internal conscious dialogue influenced by the subconscious mind. The thoughts, beliefs, questions, ideas, and experiences we have are used by the brain to make sense of our daily existence. Pessimists use self-defeating internal dialogue. Human nature tends to lean toward negative self-talk and, as such, fosters fears and tears down our self-confidence. Optimists are positive thinkers, effective stress managers, and have a better quality of life—unlike the pessimists, whose internal dialogue is usually not based on reality and drowns