22 Reading
Before You Read
Complete these pre-reading activities before you read informal and formal apologies.
Formality and Directness in Responding to an Apology
In the chapter video, Ivan offers a detailed apology to Claire. Although he is familiar with Claire, Ivan wrote out what he wanted to say. The
apology he reads sounds more formal than his normal speaking style. Written English is often more formal than spoken English. Ivan is very direct about how he feels about his mistakes. He doesn’t make up any excuses. He doesn’t expect Claire to excuse him.
Claire responds to the apology by giving Ivan a bear hug and saying, “I’m so sorry about your dog.”
Her body language shows her open and direct acceptance. The way she says “sorry” expresses her feelings of sympathy to Ivan’s own pain.
Read these possible responses to an apology and answer the questions.
- Are they formal or informal?
- Are they direct or indirect about feelings?
- Does the speaker accept or reject an apology?
Vocabulary: Synonyms
Many words have multiple meanings. Look at the table below. For each row, indicate which words on the right have the same meaning as the word on the left.
| conflict | dispute | argument | battle | disagreement |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| right | correct | justified | appropriate | obligated |
| heartfelt | honest | sincere | painful | earnest |
Predictions
You’re going to read an email from Claire and a business letter from a lawyer. Both kinds of correspondence are serious. In both cases, a mistake was made; both writers acknowledge a problem. However, the writers do not have the same concern about “saving face” or “losing face.”
In other words, some apologies are open about taking responsibility for what went wrong. The purpose of such an apology is to make things right between the people in the relationship. Other apologies are about “face,” or respect. Guarding status, or reputation, and avoiding blame or shame can change ideas about who deserves an apology, when and where an apology is appropriate, and how the apology is offered.
Before reading, make the following predictions:
- How will familiarity or unfamiliarity between the writer and the reader affect an apology?
- How much formality do you expect in a serious apology between friends? Between strangers?
- How much openness, or directness, do you expect about
- responsibility?
- feelings?
- What words might be used to “save face”?
Reading 1
Read this email from Claire to Gilles.
To<EMAIL_ADDRESS>Cc:
Subject: So Sorry
Dear Gilles,
My email etiquette guide tells me I should be doing this face to face rather than electronically, but we haven’t talked much since my social blunder last week. I owe you a heartfelt apology.
Ever since you began considering Bear Bottom Campground as the site for this summer’s folk music festival, you have always bee the perfect gentleman—courteous and considerate. Whenever I get a bee in my bonnet over unhappy neighbours or rule-bending campers, you remain calm and