4 Chapter 4: Developing and Maintaining Relationships
4 Chapter 4: Developing and Maintaining Relationships
Chapter 4: Developing and Maintaining Relationships
“I’d like to learn to make more friends….”
This is probably one of the most commonly heard statements I get from students who take my Interpersonal Communications class. Its funny, because the students who are in my class often say this, but I don’t think they realize there are times I feel the exact same way. For whatever reason–I theorize social media–when it comes to in-person, genuine human connections, we seem more apart from one another than ever before. My personal theory is we delude ourselves in thinking we are connected because we have 100+ Facebook or Instagram friends and in our heads think this shows we are interconnected. That is all well and good, but we all experience times when we’d like to talk face to face with someone about the hard day we’re having; or we have times we’d love to share the joy of playing a video or board game with another in person to hear their laughs of joy when they win or lose. This type of interaction seems to be decreasing more and more….
So, if you are a student thinking you’d like to make more friends, know you’re not alone. Instead, you’re in the growing majority, sadly. So what to do about it? A good starting point can come through club offerings on your campus. At the school I work at alone, there are 50+ clubs and organizations. All kinds of things a student can choose from–video game club, science fiction club, religious-based clubs, politically based clubs, environmental change clubs, volunteerism clubs, there are many! A nice thing about attending a club on campus is you already know you and the other attendees share at least on thing in common.
What if you attend a smaller school where there are fewer club offerings? Or, perhaps there is a club that interests you, but meets at a time you already have another commitment? Another great way to meet people in the larger community with a common interest is through volunteer work. There are so very many great organizations that need help–humane societies for abandoned pets, food pantries for people in need, disability support organizations for support and socialization like Special Olympics, religiously affiliated groups for community service and prayer, mentoring programs like Big Brothers/Big Sisters of America. Again, countless ways to get involved with others who share your similar interests on a particular topic.
Communication Exercise: Connections
So this exercise will be a two step process. The first is gather a list of all the campus clubs that meet on campus, and then another list of places people can volunteer with in your area. If you have access to a computer lab, take your class as a group and do this exploration together. If you a computer lab is not accessible, just have your instructor gather these two lists ahead of time and make copies. After reviewing all the club and volunteer opportunities, have each person in class identify