I'm really stumped on how Twitter expects users of its API to convert the plaintext tweets it sends to properly linked HTML.

Here's the deal: Twitter's JSON API sends this set of information back when you request the detailed data for a tweet:

{
    "created_at":"Wed Jul 18 01:03:31 +0000 2012",
    "id":225395341250412544,
    "id_str":"225395341250412544",
    "text":"This is a test tweet. #boring @nbc http://t.co/LUfDreY6 #skronk @crux http://t.co/VpuMlaDs @twitter",
    "source":"web",
    "truncated":false,
    "in_reply_to_status_id":null,
    "in_reply_to_status_id_str":null,
    "in_reply_to_user_id":null,
    "in_reply_to_user_id_str":null,
    "in_reply_to_screen_name":null,
    "user": <REDACTED>,
    "geo":null,
    "coordinates":null,
    "place":null,
    "contributors":null,
    "retweet_count":0,
    "entities":{
        "hashtags":[
            {
                "text":"boring",
                "indices":[22,29]
            },
            {
                "text":"skronk",
                "indices":[56,63]
            }
        ],
        "urls":[
            {
                "url":"http://t.co/LUfDreY6",
                "expanded_url":"http://www.twitter.com",
                "display_url":"twitter.com",
                "indices":[35,55]
            },
            {
                "url":"http://t.co/VpuMlaDs",
                "expanded_url":"http://www.example.com",
                "display_url":"example.com",
                "indices":[70,90]
            }
        ],
        "user_mentions":[
            {
                "screen_name":"nbc",
                "name":"NBC",
                "id":26585095,
                "id_str":"26585095",
                "indices":[30,34]
            },
            {
                "screen_name":"crux",
                "name":"Z. D. Smith",
                "id":407213,
                "id_str":"407213",
                "indices":[64,69]
            },
            {
php twitter
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