t-sql replace on text field

I have hit a classic problem of needing to do a string replace on a text field in an sql 2000 database. This could either be an update over a whole column or a single field I'm not fussy.

I have found a few examples of how to use updatetext to achieve it but they tend to be in stored procedures, does anyone know of a similar thing that is wrapped into a function so I can use it like I would usually use Replace(). The problem with the Replace() function for anyone who isn't aware is that it doesn't support text fields.

Edit: I realised I could probably get away with varchar(8000) so have swapped the fields to this type which fixes the issue. I never found a true solution.