What exactly does "pass by reference" mean?

And who has the authority to decide?

Edit: Apparently I haven't succeeded in formulating my question well.
I am not asking how Java's argument passing works. I know that what looks like a variable holding an object is actually a variable holding a reference to the object, and that reference is passed by value. There are lots of fine explanations of that mechanism here (in the linked threads and others) and elsewhere.

The question is about the technical meaning of the term pass-by-reference. (End edit)

I am not sure if this is the right kind of question for SO, apologies if not, but I don't know a better place. Much has already been said in other questions here, for example Is Java "pass-by-reference" or "pass-by-value"? and pass by reference or pass by value?, but I haven't found an authoritative answer to the question what the term means.

I have thought that "pass by reference" means "pass a reference (usually a pointer) to the object", so the callee can modify the object the caller sees, while "pass by value" means copying the object, and letting the callee have fun with the copy (obvious problem: what if the object contains references, deep copy or shallow).
Sing the FW turns up lots of places saying "pass by reference" means just that, java parameters terminology pass-by-reference