28 Assertive Communication: Expressing Yourself with Clarity and Respect
28 Assertive Communication: Expressing Yourself with Clarity and Respect
“Being assertive is a core communication skill. Assertiveness can help you express yourself effectively and stand up for your point of view. It can also help you do this while respecting the rights and beliefs of others.
Assertive communication is direct and respectful. Being assertive gives you the best chance of successfully delivering your message. If you communicate in a way that’s too passive or too aggressive, your message may get lost because people are too busy reacting to your delivery.” –mayo clinic assertive communication
It is vulnerable to express our true feelings to others, especially when there is disagreement. Often we default to patterns of withdrawing or becoming defensive. Finding ways to calmly and honestly express ourselves is a learned skill that helps us talk to people in a way that increases the chances that they will listen to us.
Purpose
The purpose of this activity is for participants to observe the impacts of different communication styles people use to express themselves and to practice assertive responses using I-messages.
Learning Objectives
Participants will:
- Define passive, aggressive and assertive communication styles.
- Describe components of assertive communication.
- Understand the purpose and format of an assertive I-message.
- Practice I-messages
Activity Directions
Set-Up: Arrange chairs in a horseshoe formation so that there is a “stage” area at the front of the room for the skits.
- Explain observation task: Tell the group that you will be presenting three skits demonstrating different communication styles and their task is to obsrve the verbal and non-verbal communication shown in each scenario.
- Recruit volunteer speaker: Ask for a volunteer who is willing to perform some short role-plays with you. Tell them that in the scenarios you will enact, the two of you are friends. They have borrowed your bike and are returning it to you.
Bicycle Skits Demonstrating Passive, Aggressive and Assertive Communication
Scenario One:
Verbal: “Ohhh where did you go. uhhh looks pretty muddy. hmmmm, the fender is dented. Oh well I will deal with it. Hope you had fun.”
Non-Verbal: Voice quiet, mousy and whiny. Shoulders and body slumped. No-eye contact. Quietly wheel the bike away (mimed or using a wheeled office chair) .
Scenario Two:
Verbal: “You jerk! Where were you? You said you would be back an hour ago. Look at the mess you have made of my bike. I am never ever lending you anything again. You better clean this up and get it fixed or I will never speak to you again!
Non-Verbal: Loudly shouting, waving hands, stomping feet. Moving towards them with aggression. (Often in this scenario, the borrower backs away and the interaction ends up in the corner of the room).
Scenario Three:
Verbal: “Hey. How was your ride? What happened? I can see that the bike has a lot of mud and that the fender is bent. I feel disappointed that I lent you my bike and