3.3 Sex, Gender, and Sexuality
Elizabeth B. Pearce
Sex, gender, and sexuality are central to family life. Not only are they all involved in the partner(s) that we choose, but the construction of behaviors and roles related to gender are impactful to the operation of family life. Before we discuss their meanings, we will first acknowledge the socially constructed binary systems that influence society’s thinking about these topics.
Socially Constructed Binary Systems
Black and White. Masculine and feminine. Rich and poor. Able-bodied and disabled. These are binaries.
A binary is a social construct composed of two parts that are framed as absolute and unchanging opposites. Binary systems reflect how this idea has become embedded in our culture, creating an exaggeration of differences between social groups until they seem to have nothing in common. An example of this is the phrase “men are from Mars, women are from Venus.” Ideas of men and women being complete opposites invite simplistic comparisons that rely on stereotypes: men are practical, women are emotional; men are strong, women are weak; men lead, women support. Binary notions mask the complicated realities and variety of unique human beings. They also erase the existence of individuals, such as multiracial or mixed-race people and people with nonbinary gender identities, who may identify with neither of the assumed categories or with multiple categories.
We know very well that men have emotions and that women have physical strength, but a binary perspective of gender prefigures men and women to have nothing in common. They are defined against each other; men are defined, in part, as “not women” and women as “not men.” Thus, our understanding of men is influenced by our understanding of women. Rather than seeing aspects of identity like race, gender, class, ability, and sexuality as containing only two opposing categories, conceptualizing multiple various identities allows us to examine how men and women, Black and White, and the like may not be so completely different after all, and how varied and complex identities and lives can be.
Understanding Sex and Gender
Although the words “sex” and “gender” are at times used interchangeably in social settings, scientists and sociologists make a clear distinction between these two terms. As we discussed in Chapter 2, a person’s sex refers to the biological category based on anatomy and physiology. This category is assigned at birth, most typically as male or female. A small percentage of the population (less than 1%) is born as intersex, meaning that there is a combination of primary and secondary sex characteristics that indicate both male and female features. In these situations, parents and medical professionals work together to make a decision about which sex to assign and whether any surgery is warranted. In the past, it was common for surgery decisions to be made by the doctor and parents as early as possible. But as scientific evidence and in