3.5 A Word about Marriage
Elizabeth B. Pearce
In the United States, marriage is often viewed as a symbolic representation of love and a significant step into adulthood. A single lifelong marriage is considered a success. But these are social constructions. Here, we will discuss the socially constructed ideals of marriage, as well as acknowledge that marriage is just one possibility within all romantic and love relationships. Admittedly, marriage holds a high status in the United States. And we will ask you, the reader, to think about the role of marriage in society.
Marriage as a Social Construction
What image comes to mind when you think about marriage? Perhaps you immediately see a couple—a young man and a young woman—in wedding garb, with the man in formal black clothing and the woman in a white dress, figure 3.11. Weddings are symbolic of the joining of a couple and the families involved. Perhaps you visualized something else—another stage of marriage or another kind of couple or family. The meaning of and ideals about marriage have changed over time and differ among kinship groups and cultures.
The most powerful social constructions of marriage in the United States have been driven by the economy and social change. Briefly summarized, these are the ways that marriage has been viewed by society over time:
- Marriage as an institution was the most common among Euro-American settlers from the time of arrival in what became the United States until the mid-20th century. In institutionalized marriage, roles were clearly defined between the man and the woman in the pursuit of economic and familial stability. Producing children was highly valued, as they contributed to the family’s economic stability.
- Companionate marriage emerged as the economy in the United States improved and one spouse (usually the man) worked away from the home. “Separate spheres,” the idea that men and women worked in different worlds (home and the workplace), emerged. While roles were still well defined, the importance of companionship, love, affection, and sex were all added to the expectations of a marital relationship to create the idea of the companionate marriage.
- Individualized marriage evolved with the country’s continued economic growth and the increase in women’s equality and the expansion of gender roles for men, women, and nonbinary people. This led to more flexible and fluid roles in marriages and in parenting. In addition, in individualistic marriages, it is expected that each spouse works toward their own self-actualization, as well as supporting their spouse’s self-actualization. Parenting and work within marriage were more likely to be shared. Both partners are expected to be more expressive and communicative. The role of support and encouragement in helping your spouse to become their best self is added to the growing list of expectations for marriage (Cherlin, 2004).
Socially constructed ideals have taken on additional representation with the increasing