19 Coping with Loss
Maddie Morris; Rhianna Hernandez; Katya Romero; and Faith Danford
Loss is a significant but devastating part of life. Loss is defined as harm or distress that comes from losing someone or something. It can be challenging when a person is in college since it is already a confusing and transitional part of life where one is trying to essentially figure out the rest of their life and who they want to be. While there are many types of loss, such as death, loss of friendships, the end of a relationship, and more, it is typical to go through the same stages of loss or grief to help cope. It is also crucial to utilize the resources offered at your college when going through hard times like loss. No matter what someone may be going through, it is imperative that you take the steps needed to heal and be able to move on.
Stages of Loss
Everyone goes through at least one type of loss at some point in their life. When experiencing a form of loss, a majority of people will go through certain stages to help them cope. These five stages of loss/grief were first introduced by a Swiss-American psychiatrist in 1969 with her book, On Death and Dying. Keep in mind that not everyone will experience all five stages, and not everyone will go through the phases in the same order.
The stages of grief are as follows:
- Denial- This stage is usually a temporary defense mechanism. A common phrase people say at this stage is, “This is not happening to me.”
- Anger- Anger usually comes after the realization that denial cannot persist. People in this stage often ask themselves, “who is to blame.”
- Bargaining- This stage is where people end up trying to negotiate for more time, usually pleading to a higher power. Common phrases are, “I will do anything for…” and “I will not do this anymore for…”
- Depression- The depression stage is when individuals recognize the current situation but become overwhelmed with sadness. Most people will say, “I miss my loved one; why go on?”
- Acceptance- This is the last stage people tend to go through. This is where people will accept the inevitable future.
Although these stages are generally associated with the loss of a loved one, it can be applied to any type of loss. It could include the loss of a job, the end of a relationship, or any other life-altering change.
Types of Loss
As someone goes through their life, especially navigating their way through college, they may be faced with a sudden loss of some sort. As a college student, there are many losses one can go through, the loss of a loved one, a pet, a scholarship, a job, or housing. Paradise Valley Community College offers a variety of resources that can help support their students as they make their way through the hardships they may be facing. They provide free counseling, the guidance of generous and caring advisors, a plethora of scholarships, and a fantastic tutoring program for those struggling with school. As college students, we are most likely to go through